The Universe Is Shaped Exactly Like The Earth - If You Go Straight Long Enough, You'll End Up Where You Were...

Hello everybody!

I am so glad it's finally the weekend - and a long one at that! I have had an incredible week, full of stress and excitement and anxiety and pride and an overarching sense of accomplishment, and I am very ready to sit back, relax, and contemplate things.

It turns out that quite a large number of individuals, companies, groups and even some politicians are concerned about the ANC's proposed media tribunal and laws to curb the freedom of the media... Which I am quite pleased about. It is, however, very important to remain open-minded about the issue. Groups on both sides of the argument need to be objective and consider what is best for our country - not for one side or the other. There have been many questions as to the fairness and objectivity as well as the truth behind some reporting over the past years, and this needs to be taken into account.

Point is - don't take everything you read at face value.

Keep a Tape Recorder on my Bedside Table...

When you don't believe in how much you could actually achieve, you never will achieve much. Last night, I suddenly realised this. It has kind of changed my life (which is not so special, I try to encounter something, think something, read something, feel something, see-hear-touch-taste-smell something that changes my life at least once a day)and it has opened up not only many doors for my future, but has also made me able to look back with some clarity on my life.

Achieving what I have in the past six or seven months at Rhodes has seriously changed my outlook on life and my confidence in my abilities. I do think that I was cut out for this profession. Nothing, in my whole life, has ever been this easy or this rewarding to me. I have never approached anything in my life with such ferocity, such passion, and such determination. Sniffing out news, writing, and reporting on it has made me so happy and has made me feel as though my life really was quite special.

In high school I adopted a puerile, plastic nonchalance about any and all achievements, shrugging them off as 'uncool', but this was simply because I was absolutely terrified of failing. I put up a vainglorious mask, pretending to think I was someone worth looking up to, but when I look back at me, I wasn't much at all.

I university, free from having to uphold the image I had created for myself, I was stripped of my ego and I was unafraid of failing. I signed up for as much as possible, as soon as possible, and worked as honestly and as hard as I could. I guess... it's paid off.

By the way, there is no chance of me being rejected for second year Journalism and Media Studies. Just saying.

A Dead Fish Gains the Power of Observation

Last night I went to the Activate offices (ridiculously early) and worked myself up into quite an impressive state of panic in preparation for my interview for becoming the next Opinions or Politics section editor. The anxiety, it turned out, was completely unnecessary. I flew through the interview on pure adrenaline and, apparently, nailed it!

I am officially the Opinions (or as it will be known from now on, the 'Comments and Analysis') Section Editor, and I am beyond pleased! I will be working on the section in the paper as well as produce and edit online content for Activate's (hopefully) kick-ass new website.

Becoming the Politics editor was a slightly bigger wish for me, but I do embrace this role fully and I am sure I will enjoy it immensely! Following a career in political journalism at this point in history will still be a scary and exciting challenge for me, and an incredibly necessary one at that.

A more interesting, more theme-oriented post will follow this one shortly.

Love.

Press Freedom and the ANC

It took a long, hard walk to freedom to end Apartheid in South Africa in 1994. During Apartheid, people of non-white origin were humiliated and oppressed by a delusional minority party that managed to cling to power for about 46 years too long.

After years of struggle and movements for liberation, Apartheid was finally overthrown, and South Africa could not, for the most part, be happier. Our future looked bright, and our leadership party was young, vibrant, energetic and revolutionary. I assume (being barely older than sixteen myself) that many South Africans felt that they could once again, or maybe even for the first time, feel hopeful, and dream, for their future and the futures of their children.

The ANC, the party instrumental to the attainment of freedom for all races, has now been in power for 16 years. It has been a short while, many say. We cannot expect change too quickly. My complaint is not, however, with poor service delivery or government corruption. It is not with police brutality. I have many more words for that.

Today, I need to ask a very important question of the ANC. Please, look into your past, look at your faded ideals and vision. Look at the role the press has played during your birth, your infancy, your learning to walk, and talk, and fight. Yes, the print media have been abused by all systems of government. In many instances it was used to justify Apartheid and the cruel treatment of the masses at the hands of the NP. But didn't the press play an incredible role in guiding you to the fulfillment of your goals as revolutionary party? International sanctions and pressure were placed on the NP because of one thing - the media. News, news, news.

Maybe you are so used to being a revolutionary party that you haven't realised that the struggle is over. Why do you bare your teeth so viciously, why do your hackles raise so menacingly, why does the hair on your back stand up as if you are being attacked when you are being fairly questioned and criticised? Criticism and interrogation, uncovering the truth, the lack of political affiliation... this has always been something I have been proud of South Africa for. Our press has never backed down from justifiably evaluating your leadership skills as a governing party. This, this, this, this, this... This is the sign of a healthy press, a healthy democracy, and healthy governance of a country.

Every piece of criticism and every question is not a sign of an attack on our 'brittle' democracy. Our democracy is - or was, if your new laws are passed - not frail or weak. A free press is a sign of a healthy, breathing, lively democracy. Don't kill that.

It seems it happens too easily that a once revolutionary party never gives up fighting, and fights and fights and fights and fights , until it has killed itself in the process. Do not become everything you have been born to overcome. You have a massive utility truck of weapons at your disposal, but you don't seem to have found peace a very useful one as yet. Anger, deception, corruption, violence, allegations, misinformation and childish shouting matches have their time and place. It is not here, and it is not now.

There is a time to break down, and a time to build up.

Stop fighting.

Start building.

Come on.

And us in fish net hats and canvas shoes as was the style that year...

I'm so incredibly sorry that my blog posts have been as scarce as blog posts in a tightly packed schedule, but my schedule has been unbelievably tight.

After a beautiful, but chilly, day at the beach at Port Alfred, I am quite exhausted and very excited for the next week. Coming up, I am working on some stories for Women Inc. and I am completing my Allan Gray Orbis Foundation fellowship application, and I also have my interviews lined up for the Activate section editorial positions I am interested in.

In the past week, I have become involved in documenting some spoken word poetry by Bruce Haynes, an incredibly talented fellow Journalism student. The poetry is beautiful, and I have had quite an interesting time filming some of his poetry for Activate.

I don't have any profound thoughts or revelations for today... Just tired. So tired. Need holiday.

Love.

I kept smelling some sort of blown-out candles...

Starting life at Rhodes after my long-but-short six-week holiday in Johannesburg was a little bit of a shock to the system. Staying busy during the break helped acclimatise me to the huge influx of work I faced upon my return, though.

The five pieces I wrote for Activate's Politics and Business sections needed to be sourced and edited within two days of my return, which meant that interviews needed to be sniffed out, requested and held, along with my usual lectures and tutorials.

This, though, was not even the beginning of the work I needed to get stuck into when I came back. Last week, I had to complete and hand in applications for executive editorial positions for Activate along with CVs and cover letters for the two positions I am interested in - Politics editor and Opinions editor. I also had to get right back to writing stories for the next edition of Activate, as well as shoot, edit and compile and compelling little piece of multimedia work for Activate's online Opinions section concerning Rhodes's activism weeks, such as the LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual and Intersexual) week that has just passed.

Along with this, I have been notified of an amazing opportunity offered by the Allan Gray Orbis Foundation in the form of a study bursary or fellowship - covering tuition, residence, book fees, and an allowance. I have a very small chance of getting this sought-after fellowship, but a small chance is a chance nonetheless.

This weekend, I also went to look at a 'digs' (a house filled with students and debauchery) with some friends and Ben for next year. The digs is beautiful, with a massive six-bedroom house, a luscious, spacious garden, a one-person flat and a two-person flat. If all goes as planned, Ben and I will be signing the lease for the two-person flat this week. I will post pictures of the digs on Facebook once I have a small opportunity to catch my breath and catch up on my social networking. My digsmates - Katja, Lizzy, Jenna, Ben (Katz), my Ben, and Dwayne - are very cool and seem like the perfect people with which I would like to live, fight, laugh with and get to know.

I have also been offered a small - but very satisfying - job writing articles for online women's magazine Women Inc. about life lessons, books, products, and inspirational women. I now have a small addition to make to my pocket money and savings, which makes me feel a lot more grown-up and ready to take on new challenges in life.

This is an update on my academic and professional life.

An update on my personal life and emotional well-being? No news there. I still don't know who I am or what I want to do or be or say or think... So I'll just be sitting here, doing, thinking, being and saying exactly what I feel like. That is kind of what life is about - it'll happen, whether you're prepared for it or not. So, I'm enjoying this right now, just venturing off into the deliciously unknown, taking every step for exactly what it is - another step, another experience, another source of wonder, amusement, amazement, and new-found understanding about what it is to be human.

I'm very scared of my interview for the position of Politics editor - I don't ever seem to know quite enough, although reading the news daily has made a valuable contribution to my political knowledge.

**And the Monterey birches were there,
raising their skinny arms to the stars in surrender...**

My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth...

So, here I am again. I am back in Johannesburg (and have been for some time now) and pondering the meaning of my existence. Quite a pesky question, this one. Comedy group Monty Python's promisingly titled "The Meaning of Life", although crammed full of inappropriate laughs, is a major disappointment when it comes to answering life's most intriguing and badly addressed question... of all time.

Of Platoism, Aristotelianism, Cynicism, Cyrenaicism, Epicureanism, Stoicism, Enlightenment philosophy, Classical liberalism, Kantianism, Utilitarianism, Nihilism, Pragmatism, Existentialism, Absurdism, Secular humanism, Logical positivism, Postmodernism, Instinctivism, Social Darwinism and Evolutionary Psychology, Naturalistic pantheism, Western and Middle Eastern religions, Zoroastrianism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Bahá'í Faith, Advaita and Dvaita Hinduism, Vaishnavism, Jainism, Shinto, Taoism, Confucianism and other religious and philosophical ideas I do not claim to know much. Heck, I don't know what the hell I just said.

Here is my perspective.

Yesterday, while we were getting into the car, my mom said something interesting. "Accomplishment," she said, "is the best feeling in the world". I thought about this. Yes, that morning I had written two articles for Activate and was feeling quite good about myself, but was this the meaning of life? Was this what I had to strive for in life? I had a sudden flash of myself in ten years, a desperate workaholic, pushing away family, friends, and loved ones with my frantic and panicked searches for meaning in yet another pay raise, yet another successful article written. No... This wasn't it for me.

Many people find the begin-all and end-all of their wishes, expectations, ideals and dreams for themselves and their loved ones in a religion. No matter the religion, you will find many mindless followers trawling in its destructive wake. Some of the worst world atrocities have been committed (and continue to be committed) in the name of a deity, a belief, or a way of life. In Marie Claire, a fashion magazine in South Africa, I read about a girl who had attended an innocent get-together at a friend's house for her sixteenth birthday wearing a mini-skirt. Instead of receiving presents, or birthday cards, she was arrested and given 40 lashings by a government-funded group that enforced Islamic morality in Iran. Religion, no matter how mildly applied, has never brought peace or understanding to my life. Accepting complete responsibility, with a helpful dash of Occam's Razor*, has lead me to live a life independent of spiritual or religious dependency. Although I do not condemn it in the lives of others, this is not my calling either.

After doing a lot of thinking, I have come to two things I value highly in my life. Relationships with people I respect and learn from, and learning in itself. Meeting people I have something in common with or whom I admire and desire to learn from is the most exciting thing I could ever imagine. Spending time with Benjamin has proven this theory time and time again. He has never stopped fascinating and teaching me in the time we have been together. Together, we share experiences, thoughts, information, knowledge, feelings and emotions. I never, ever want to stop.

This is what I think about the meaning of life right now.

That's about it. Now I will go back to waiting in a nail-bitingly stressful haze for Marie Claire to reply to my e-mails and (hopefully) accept me as a baby intern for a week at their beautiful magazine.

*entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem