Friday, August 6, 2010
Keep a Tape Recorder on my Bedside Table...
When you don't believe in how much you could actually achieve, you never will achieve much. Last night, I suddenly realised this. It has kind of changed my life (which is not so special, I try to encounter something, think something, read something, feel something, see-hear-touch-taste-smell something that changes my life at least once a day)and it has opened up not only many doors for my future, but has also made me able to look back with some clarity on my life.
Achieving what I have in the past six or seven months at Rhodes has seriously changed my outlook on life and my confidence in my abilities. I do think that I was cut out for this profession. Nothing, in my whole life, has ever been this easy or this rewarding to me. I have never approached anything in my life with such ferocity, such passion, and such determination. Sniffing out news, writing, and reporting on it has made me so happy and has made me feel as though my life really was quite special.
In high school I adopted a puerile, plastic nonchalance about any and all achievements, shrugging them off as 'uncool', but this was simply because I was absolutely terrified of failing. I put up a vainglorious mask, pretending to think I was someone worth looking up to, but when I look back at me, I wasn't much at all.
I university, free from having to uphold the image I had created for myself, I was stripped of my ego and I was unafraid of failing. I signed up for as much as possible, as soon as possible, and worked as honestly and as hard as I could. I guess... it's paid off.
By the way, there is no chance of me being rejected for second year Journalism and Media Studies. Just saying.